lickypickystickyme: In this day and age having a username “already taken” and being offered to add some shitty number combination is the absolute WORST. fuckoff1975
Attractive person: hey
Me: who paid you
r u gonna follow everyone I follow cause if u r we r gonna have a problem
taking your friendship to the next level by adding your tumblr friend on facebook
zubat: I want to travel the world with you. I want to go on adventures and discover new places. I want to learn more about dinosaurs, space and our world with you. I want to learn and grow with you.
me: I'm so full omg I'm not gonna eat for days
me: are those brownies
at what age do i just magically turn hot
Police: where do you live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where do your parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do you all live?
Police: where is your house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where do your neighbors live?
Me: if i tell you, you wont believe me
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house
Anonymous asked: WOW, I just lost a bunch of weight using the OFFICIAL TUMBLR DIET!! Are u using it as well? Tumblr won't let me post links but check it out at TumblrHealthDiet[d0t]com
fartgallery: I SPENT 6 HOURS MAKING THIS BALLOON PIT AND IT DOESNT EVEN WORK
h0odrich: I wanna jump off a building and not die just relieve stress by slamming onto the sidewalk and then get up and go get a slurpee or something
fuoco-go: gendertier: gendertier: gendertier: i jUST WALKED INTO MY MOMS ROOM AND THERE’S A DACHSHUND IN HERE WE DON’T OWN A DACHSHUND???? ???????? okay this dog is so sweet but where is my mom omfg Your mom has been turned into a dachshund. It’s you’re responsibility to lift the curse. Your adventure is beginning, my friend.
me: can you not
teenmum: what staff really needs to do is delete those blogs who havent updated since 2009 with cool one word url’s
Realizing what a lazy shit you are.
friend: move you're blocking the view
me: i am the view.
jalexaremyhomeboys: reasons i don’t want to do a presentation in front of my class: my voice shakes i go all red i’m ugly people will be looking at me i’M UGLY AND PEOPLE WILL BE LOOKING AT ME AND MY VOICE WILL GO ALL WEIRD THIS IS AN ISSUE
theinsufferablefan: broadway-aradia: what if you had an oven that could make things cold instead of hot omg
Have you realized that your age is the number of...
yourfiancebeyonce: my mom posted this on my facebook wall because i dont want to go to the zoo with her